Dear Jay,

Peace!

I decided to answer your comment through e-mail kasi baka magtanong ang iba, bakit yung comment mo lang ang sinagot ko. mahirap na't baka mabawasan ang aking lilimang readers.ü

I understand your apprehension basta tungkol sa vocation. Tama ka, hindi mo ito basta-basta madi-discuss kahit kanino nang di sila maiilang, maguguluhan, magdududa o mawawalan ng interest. At ang hirap ngang humanap ng taong makakausap tungkol dito, yung tipong sisiryoso at mag-eencourage sayo. And to think, this is the time when you needed all the the support and prayers you can get.

I went to your blog and read your lenten reflection on wine. ang galing ah. that piece shows that you're wise and mature beyond your years. Dahil dun, alam ko na hindi mo kailangan ng payo. Just like everyone else, just like me, just like Matthew at the tax collector's table, kailangan mo lang ng affirmation. Still, let me say my piece about your vocation. I do not know you personally, but I do believe you have a call. Totoo, naniniwala ako na may bokasyon ka. Isipin mo na lang, Jay, you won't have this much interest on becoming a priest kung walang nagtutulak sayo. You won't be so fired up about the Church kung walang nag-inspire sayo. Di mo magagawang pumunta ng lihim sa Manila for a vocsem kung walang grasya ng Diyos na nagpalakas ng loob mong gawin yun. You really are being lead to this call, you are being guided to something greater than what you imagine. Di ko sasabihin kung mali yung Jesuit o si Bishop about signs. Ito lang ang sasabihin ko. Don't look for signs. Look AT the signs. You don't have to ask God for signs. God has already given you them to you, you'll only have to be sensitive enough to see them.

As for the big decision, there is never really the right time. We can always say, di pa ako ready kasi kailangan ko pang mag-grow up, kailangan kong tulungan ang family ko, kasi nandyan pa si Sugar, kasi ganito, kasi ganyan. Kapag ganun ang mindedness, tatanda ka na lang eh hindi ka pa rin makakapasok. Don't wait for all things to get resolved, kasi walang katapusan yan. Go kung go! Things will take care of itself along the way. Let the dead bury the dead, sabi nga ni Kuya Jesus. Anytime that you choose, basta pinagdasalan at pinag-discernan at hindi isang decision made during turbulent times, right time iyan, Jay.

Jay, I don't promise na magiging pari ka nga in the end. Di kita ganung kakilala para masabi ko yun. Ikaw pa rin ang makakasagot nyan.. But I can assure you, I'll pray for you along the way. If you feel you're being called sa Jesuits then be with the Jesuits. While they have the most difficult formation, theirs also is the most wholistic and most effective. You may want to try diocesan priesthood too, like Jhoen AND study at the Jesuits, kasi posible rin yun, medyo magastos nga lang.ü Or you may visit other religious congregation, Bahala ka. Basta give your all. Yang igive-up ang girlfriend, trabaho at pamilya, maliit na bagay lang yan kumpara sa mga biyayang ibibigay sayo ng Diyos.

I don't know why am I writing you eh di naman kita kilala. Pangalawa eh sobrang busy ko nga. I just felt I need to affirm you. Probably because when I was at that stage too, I felt alone, misunderstood, pressured. Kaya naman, be assured of my prayers for you. Di ako kagalingan magdasal pero wala naman yan sa galing. God will hear my prayers for you just the same. And pray for me too. Kailangang kailangan ko rin ang mga dasal mo.

God bless and have a blessed journey!

Your Kuya Utoy at the Table of the Lord,

Vergel Dalangin, SSS